Undisputed Reality

Stylishzai is back after many idle weeks that turned months! You might be wondering what happened to me lately if I am still alive or what haha! It’s not that my schedule is hectic but I just need to prioritize other things rather than this. And yes, I miss blogging! I am not letting go of what I love, though.

So what happened? I am finally college taking BSA at the prestigious Royal and Pontifical University of Santo Tomas! Accountancy is not something that I really love and passionate about and never did I think that one day, I will become an accountant but this is what my parents want me to pursue. It’s not my desire but I still believe that one day, I will learn to love this course and will become so desperate just to successfully finish my entire journey at AMV. It’s not impossible naman right?

By the way, college is completely different from high school (which makes me sick) and right now, I am still in the process of absorbing the fact that I am no longer living in my comfort zone; that everything happening is completely different from the culture, environment and beliefs that I am used to that is why, most of my days, I live in the past; I still live in my old easy and carefree world however, I know that this is just some kind of nostalgic. Sooner or later, I will be used in this kind of change. I know for a fact that this will help me find my undiscovered strengths and abilities, will certainly make me an independent person and of course, will make me one step closer in reaching one of my dreams- to help other people through my career.

So what’s up UST? I never really thought that college could be this serious especially in the course that I am taking. To tell you a fact, I thought na petiks lang and easy breezy but hindi pala; patayan pala. My blockmates are really competitive and majority of them are valedictorians which made me feel inferior and out of place lol but I know that God won’t let me be in the situation without his prior notice and He put me here because I deserve to be here and I have a purpose. So far, all of the struggles that I am facing are purely self-inflicted and just the juices of my over thinking chu chu. I pray, hope and declare that 5 years from now, I will become an accountant- a certified public accountant! God won’t fail me and as long as I am tied in His plans, directions and promises, nothing could ever stop my destination- not even the world.

I miss Palawan. I miss looking at the stars. I miss the fresh air. I miss walking in the streets without worrying. I miss our clean and green environment. I miss waking up late. I miss cooking pancakes. I miss going to life church Palawan. I miss lutong pambahay. I miss my life there but this is the reality now and in order to achieve great things and in order to build a better foundation, one must go out of his comfort zone and this is it na. I just need to take good care, manage and balance everything to make sure that all things are falling in the right places and all the decisions that I am making are according to God’s plan. (Don’t ask me about my love life. It’s not yet my priority hahaha!)

My caption has nothing to do with the pictures and this is my signature- fashion post with my life’s caption. I am still thinking to renovate this blog but I need time and resources (feeling big time blogger eh no). I don’t know what happened with my old posts because I can only see the captions and not the pictures.

God bless everyone!

Life isn’t the way we always wanted but this is the reality. We just have to accept it, seize it and live it.

Old on the outside, New in the inside

Hi, this is stylishzai and I am still alive. You might be wondering what happened to me in the past few months for being inactive. The reason was I find it hard to balance between my passion as a typical teenager and my responsibility as a student, daughter, sister and ate. And to tell you readers, I finally graduated with flying colors (To God be the Glory) and was accepted in a prestigious school-a school that I am supposed to pass because my sister is studying there-University of Santo Tomas!! There are a lot of happenings and changes in me but I am still a blogger who loves sharing pieces of herself through fashion posts.

These pictures were taken last February 2014 and it took me a long time to post this because I am busy. So what is the meaning of my title? I still look the same-same flaws, insecurities, smile, everything but I am in the process of changing what is inside of me. I am like the new version of me- Zaira version 2.0. I am focusing on my spiritual growth and enhancing my relationship with my family because I will go to college and will temporarily be away from them. What I am trying to develop is my strength, inner moonlight and my character. I always make it to a point to reflect with myself atleast once a day. I love cleaning my room although it is already clean and I love sticking post it notes on my wall to remind me that I am special and a champion!

So here is my fashionista side. I love denims and I decided to pair it with a plain black top, aztec shorts and nude heels to elongate my short legs. I hope you like my combo!

As you can see, I love side view pose because it makes my nose look matangos hahaha and please do forgive me for being so jejemon in these pictures! Anyway, I cannot open my yahoo mail, twitter, and 2 tumblrs because I forgot my password hehe so I am just using my Facebook account , this blog and my Instagram to be abreast with the technology.

I say sorry and I apologize for my old immature posts, tweets and comments on my social media accounts. I've changed hahaha! And I became more mature na and my advice lang for you guys is never ever post something that you will regret in the end. Never post something when your emotions are unstable and too fierce. I love you guys, I hope you will still read my blog even if I am not always active. God Bless!!

Perspective

No hate. I know I know. Let me explain. I am indeed wearing pek pek shorts hahaha!

hashtag unconservative // hastag kadiri // hashtag slut // hashtag whore // hashtag *you are free to judge me but don't forget the quote: "What Sally says of Sussie says more of Sally that of Sussie."

I DIY-ed them and wouldn't it be okay if I will wear them for the second time just in a couple of minutes and then I'll take pictures and I'll post them in my blog, After all, I just wore them inside our house and I promise that I won't ever wear shorts are short as that and as you can see: my legs are big-really big and I admit that I am insecure about that. Tee + shorts + slippers = simplicity and that's what I wanted to showcase to you because my point here in my post is to explain my thoughts. If truth be told, it's my blog and if you don't want what you are seeing here, you are free to go and to those who are staying, I love you hehe!

*my thoughts are to be continued*

The Girl I'll Never Be

So I am back after several weeks. This post is not new probably two months old; I saved this in my draft post. I am busy for the past days because I am starting with my thesis, we had exam and I joined the JS Camp. So here it goes: (Let's not make the caption long nalang right?)

I am a girl- simple, shy, soft, funny to close friends, hilarious to my friends, cold to strangers, loves ice cream, loves chocolates, loves to laugh, sometimes moody, short, long hair, light brown-toned, full of flaws, don't often speak, sometimes unproductive, blessed, christian, hopean, dreamer, blogger and *insert infinite decribing words*

This is me and I guess, I don't have to change for someone I'm not. I am blessed with my life although sometimes I would just feel wrecked because I focus on negative things that are around me. I do that-sometimes. I would normally look at my self and re-evaluate my life and I will, out of nowhere, rate my self and I will cry and then my mom would stop me from crying and then my dad also and I will pray and sleep and the next morning, everything is new. I guess, it's a cycle so just read it all over again.

The girl I'll never be:

• Drink liquor and smoke (only sweets!)
• Say bad words (really guys, I don't say those words ever since and I hope until I die hehe)
• Change my God (ever!)
• Change my sex (lol, is this a need?)
• cut my hair really short (this is never my plan)
• and more... (I feel like I need to restore my thoughts pa so I can say more haha)

I would, I guess, stay sweet for the rest of my life.

The dress (worn as skirt), and top is my older sister's so yeah guys,

I wanted to dedicate this post for her as a surprise

but then she's here so I'll go for my plan B instead.

My point in here is that sometimes we have to examine ourselves and think of what we want in our lives and where we want to be in the future because we must have that certain vision for us to be in the right and same track until we reach the end. Like for me, I don't want to say bad words so I would really think the words that I am going to say before I spit them right? 

Let's enjoy our one week of summer although our teachers left us countless project and must dos. I really wanted to be productive so that I won't procrastinate but I don't feel like doing my HRR and thesis. So yeah, God Bless you all and maybe one day or another, I can update you guys with my new refreshing posts. BTW, don't mind my grammatical errors and wrong spelling words because I am lazy to re-edit them again hehe. You won't judge naman right? Love you all!

Araw ng Wika 2013

This is an overdue post and I am really sorry because our schedule is really hectic.

Last week was the bomb. It was surreal and full of happiness. We had newscasting, spelling bee, essay contest, making of banderitas, open house, thanksgiving ceremony, SG Day, Literary Contest and Family Day. It was full of activities and I never really thought that it will be as successful as it should be. It was the best above all maybe because it's my last year (tears).

Speaking of, looking back in all the photos that was uploaded in Facebook, it breaks my heart to think that few more months till graduation.  It breaks my heart to think that I am going to college. It breaks my heart to say goodbye to high school life. It breaks my heart to think that all of a sudden, it will just be a memory-beautiful one. My four years of staying in Hope gave me memories I can treasure in my heart until I get old. Sad to say, goodbyes are inevitable (tears).

Enough with my drama. I prepared a special post to confess all my emotions in my high school journey.

So now, this is what I wore in our Araw ng Wika. We had a grand activity that day. We had singing contest, dance contest and intermission numbers from various clubs in our school. Hopean's talents really burst that day. In the afternoon, we had lights and sounds and a tour about Philippines from alibata language to jejemon language and we watched a short presentation about our country, Philippines. Again, it was successful.

Ootd. Hashtag ILovePhilippines!

As for my hair, I decided to curl it and pin it in the side to highlight my sister's heavy earrings. I opted for naked face to focus more on my outfit and btw, I don't wear make-up lol.

I love this picture. Can't you see that my arms look so thin here?

I looked so bulky because my top is loose.

To tell you guys, this is my mom's surprise gift for me. She bought this dress when she was in Manila. There was even a typhoon when she was there and she really made a effort to surprise me. At first, I was so maarte because I wanted to rent a balintawak you know because I never experience that in my 15 years of existence but yeah, my mom did well and I love her so much. 

Shoes for that day. It was too light and comfortable that

I feel naked wearing it not to tell you that the heels are 4 inches long hehe.

stylishzai going crazy.

Photo taken in our house.

Photographed by my younger sister.

Baka hindi ninyo alam na marunong ako gumamit ng wikang Filipino. Lingid sa kaalaman ng marami pero mas nadadalian ako mag sulat ng Tagalog kesa sa Ingles. At eto pa pala, ako ay isang 100% Filipina kahit ang akala nang iba ay ako ay may lahing Chinese dahil sa aking mga mata.

Room 3: I was the narrator and my Babs was the overall in charge of the lights and sounds.

Ang reyna at ang hari. Sooo bagay, right?

Picture after the stressful yet fun filled araw ng Wika.

Can't still accept the fact that that was my last.

I'm craving for more eh.

It's more fun in PHCS.

You do?

I do.

-ATS

Deceived

Because I am pretty much not really ready to start this blog post, I think I just need to start it with me in the picture looking and actually unready.

And now you'll know why my title is "Deceived".

(My topic does not match my mood in the pictures because

the caption is not intended for the post but you need to know so yeah.)

(switch to deep mode)

Not all things that you see are real and not all things that you see aren't real either. In the same way, not all things that you can’t see aren’t real and vice versa (redundancy). They eyes can be very much deceiving. It can be the source of a fatal argument or a fresh friendship but in all exception, as I know and as what I believed in, true love doesn't require eyes. I just can’t explain it but I really know that when it’s real and it’s right and it’s from God, it is blind. You don’t care how horrible she looks in the morning, how short she is or how badly her voice sounds because for you, she is beautiful just the way she is and like a bouquet of fresh flowers in Paris.

(Say what? I think I have made my point in my message and I hope you understood what I meant. In association with the title, fashion can also be deceiving like wearing heels to make your legs longer, stockings to hide your flaws, and many more. In all angles of the world, there is this word ‘deceive’ and we must not be swallowed by that tricky word and action.)

I feel so pressured because I will be taking college admission tests. I always hope and believe and aspire that I will be able to pass them all but if it won’t happen, I know that God has His better purpose for me. That's what I always say that God’s better purpose will make me a better individual and a follower of Christ. And that purpose is thousands better than my thoughts. Agree? Amen!

Just to update you my metamorphic lifestyle, I gladly become less addictive to clothes since mom started to open her new business which is Fashion 101 boutique. I began to feel the weariness of seeing tons of clothes and my eyes are being sick of it. Oh really? That is why I rarely buy clothes nowadays and even more rarely  in Palawan because shopping is Manila in my humble opinion is never been boring for the reason that I can find effortlessly cute and chic clothes with an amazingly good prize. Right now, I just mix and match my overused clothes. And that is how I practice my own version of practicality. *clap clap clap*

As for my credits, I personally thank my financier who is my biological daddy (I have, had and will have many fathers and dads in school. I’m just making things clear). I know he’s now happy because my vices are somehow vanishing. Dad will only spend his money to my doctor. I can't state you the story specifically because it is sensitive and I don’t feel stating it in my blog but now, I am giving you hints so just disregard what I had just said.

So one thing you probably notice in all my pictures are my uneventoned-ness or what I usually call “ombre skin”. Yes, my legs are indeed fairer compared to my face, shoulders, hands, etc. because I don't always wear something that shows my legs and that's why they're like that. What I usually do to make it less obvious is that I whiten my face to make my legs and face somehow balanced in tone but I always fail so yeah; let's just accept the reality (‘insert bloody tears’).

As for my outfit, it is both combinations of similar color- Violet. My top and my shorts are both my pambahay and this is how you rock your pambahay clothes.

First, apply your own personal style, and then rock it with good shoes, and accessories. Third, pick a good hairstyle and additional apparel to make it look chicer and lastly, wear your biggest fashionista smile. And now you’re good to go.

I seriously miss my jump shots and I know some of you miss that too or I am just being assuming nonetheless, here is me trying hard to have a jump shot to show to you all.

God Bless everyone!

xoxo,

ATS